


Definitely not for Sale

by Mraowface



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Anal Sex, Aziraphale's secret exhibitionist streak, Crowley is a total whore, M/M, Oral Sex, Public Sex, and proud of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:16:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21577435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mraowface/pseuds/Mraowface
Summary: Absolutely not an original idea: Aziraphale gets offended when a customer asks if Crowley charges by the hour.  Said demon just runs with it.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 133





	Definitely not for Sale

Crowley awoke to the sound of Aziraphale shrieking1 “and don't come back!” as he slammed the shop door.

“What was all that about?”

“The _nerve_ of some people,” Aziraphale was exclaiming. “Oh, um... it's nothing.”

“Angel...”

“It's – it's... I don't want to repeat it.”

“Come on, angel. Don't bottle it up.”2

“Well... That man. He was making _insinuations.”_

Crowley sat up from the sofa, noticeably more interested.

“Go on. You can tell me...” He unconsciously slipped into his temptations voice.

Aziraphale loosened up a little in response. “Well... he – _he asked how I could afford you!”_

This drew a smirk from the demon. “Is that all? He probably didn't mean anything by it.”

“ _He asked me for your details! And if you charged by the hour!”_

Crowley's smirk deepened to a grin. He rose from the sofa and wrapped himself around his angel.

“And that offended you?”

Aziraphale looked affronted. “Of course it did!”

“Hmm...” Crowley was stood behind the angel, arms draped around his neck, and one foot rubbing up and down the inside of Aziraphale's leg.

“It's not _funny,_ Crowley!”

“It's not wrong either though. Look at me.” Crowley stepped around to face Aziraphale, keeping close and breathing softly on the angel's neck. “You bought me this jacket. _And_ these jeans...” He positioned the angel's hands so they were cupping his denim-clad arse.

“Crowley, those were _presents!” 3_

“Mmm, for services rendered. Remember the jacket? What I let you do to me...” He licked his lips. “And then you took me shopping.”

Aziraphale was spluttering in indignation. “That is _not_ how it happened! We shared _experiences_ and you – you're making it sound all _tawdry.”_

“Well, let's see... we shared experiences _here_ , and _here,_ and over by the bogus biographies... Is there a single surface you haven't buggered me senseless on in here?”

There was a noticeable pinkness to Aziraphale's face. Crowley leaned in and nipped his ear.

“ _Stop_ it, Crowley. I don't like people objectifying you!”

“Says the one who has me on my knees like a whore each night...” Crowley sank onto his knees now, hands tracing down Aziraphale's body. He buried his face in the angel's crotch, mouthing at the soft fabric.

“ _Crowley!_ We are _in the shop_ and there could be _people!”_

The demon waved a hand. “Door's locked.” He set to unzipping the angel's fly.

“ _Windows!”_

Crowley sat back on his heels, but kept his hands at work. “They all _know_ , angel.”

Swatting at the demon's hands, Aziraphale looked down. “Know what?”

“That you're fucking me. They can _smell_ it. The fornication...” Crowley's hands were tugging at the angel's trousers and underpants now, just enough to expose him to the world. Crowley groaned, and lunged forward. He buried Aziraphale's cock in his throat, and began to suck, making all kinds of obscene noises as he did so.

Aziraphale made a few more feeble attempts to stop him, before gasping and giving in. He clutched Crowley's head and yanked him closer. Bubbling noises came from the demon's throat. Aziraphale began to thrust forward, lost somewhere between anger and arousal. Crowley put up no resistance, giving himself over to being used completely.

Eventually Crowley pulled back. Voice hoarse, he croaked out a weak “Fuck me.”

A quick demonic miracle later, and he was laid out naked on the wooden floor. Spreading his legs, Crowley toyed with his long hair and gave an inviting wriggle.

Aziraphale glanced worriedly at the large shop windows, and then back at his demon. With a sigh, he gave in to temptation.

On the floor, Crowley nimbly extricated Aziraphale from his trousers.4 “How do you want me? I can be anything you -”

“Shut up, Crowley,” interrupted the angel. Quickly lubing himself up with spit, Aziraphale guided himself roughly into the demon's totally unprepared anus.

Crowley bit down on his own hand, eyes scrunched shut. He let the pain slowly turn to pleasure, as his body adjusted to Aziraphale's efforts. Soon he was moaning in appreciation.

When he opened his eyes, Crowley noticed that the angel kept glancing at the nearest window. And that when he did, Aziraphale would then thrust harder. Interesting...

Aziraphale kept up the pace for some minutes, fucking Crowley with more than usual urgency. At last, he sputtered to a climax, and collapsed on top of the demon. Crowley flickered his tongue over the angel's cheek in appreciation. They lay together, breath mingling.

Coming to his senses, Aziraphale lurched upwards, and miracled them both clean and clothed.

“ _If anyone saw us...”_ he glared threateningly at the demon.

“Oh relax, angel, I tinted the windows.”

  
Aziraphale sighed. “Serpent...”

Crowley just hissed in response. He wriggled his way back onto the sofa, and happily dozed to the noise of Aziraphale opening the shop again, greeting customers, and sounding perfectly prim and proper.

1Not that angels shriek.

2After 6,000 years, Aziraphale was something of an expert.

3He absolutely wasn't shrieking.

4Like a true pro.

**Author's Note:**

> Valvopus: I would never charge you...


End file.
